What a post. I used to write more like these, slagged off (is that a word?), but now after the afternoon I had, time to post about current social media community and lack there of it.
first off, don't ever try to combine 8 cups of coffee (I filled it to the 8 cup amount), with 2 hours of 2 random Big Fish Game games... and sandwiching it all together with a cute-christian-blinddate novel.
But I digress. I thought about community a lot this week. I usually do but kept bumping into it in blogs, quick readings from my anglican prayer book, and thoughts of my current community
I can't be connected to everyone. At times this tires me, and at other times makes me sad and frustrates me. There are people who I want to be friends with. But for the life of me, we aren't. It's almost a throw back to my high school years. I want to be friends with the popular girl (nice hair, clothes, and is somehow better then me in whatever areas), but can't. I'm near borderline in the 'yes, she's better then me in the _______ area' which is a surprise since I always thought once I graduated grade school that would be behind me. I find it peculiar that I still want to be friends with someone who I'm not. They are still in my community whether it be because of work or church or extra curricular activities, and yet friendship is ellusive. Perhaps we are polite sharers of the same community, and our paths do not cross, nor do we make it an effort for this. Yet there is facebook. There is twittering. There are blogs... and even Linkedin if we want to get carried away. I have all 3.. 4... and myspace since I'm counting. I follow these people. I swear I commit more time to these people I want to be friends with, then people I AM friends with.
If I was in high school, would I be following the popular girl? Would I delve into her weekly blog? Subscribe to her tweets even though we'd eat lunch together in the same place 5 out of 7 days. Probably. I'd also probably watch her youtube videos on her fashion tips (way to go le chateau! body shop is SO last decade!).
what the heck am I doing to myself? pretending we have a relationship. pretending that its quite normal and important that I know where she has been, who she has been with and all her thoughts and dreams and who she's dating.. yes this is ok.
its like a virtual life of the person sitting next to me. welcome to stalking 2011. you stalk me via facebook, i stalk you via twitter. agreed.
graduating from high school does not disband cliques or raise self esteem. i wish it did. i wish it wouldn't bother me
when the gang or cool kids go out for coffee or slurpees and saunter by. sometimes i am the most lonely in my own community.
this is at the point I get into a flutter... God gently taps me on the shoulder, takes my backpack from me that feels so heavy and full of burdens.. and draws me close. I still watch the others walk away, you know. I just know I have someone behind me, every time.
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